People go to College to Learn (and to build relationships)
That's where you come in...

By Andy McDonald,
Director of Residence Life & Off-Campus Housing
Maryland Institute, College of Art

As a live in student staff member you have a few things in common with every other RA-type around the world. You were hired to be a "presence" in the building and advocate for good decision making from your students. (That's why safety is a big part of your training.) You were also hired to build good, healthy, (and yes non-sexual!) relationships with your residents. Building good relationships with your students actually greatly helps with your primary presence/safety role. Your ability to build these relationships leads to the holy grail of residence hall living: the elusive "Responsible and Caring Community."

Let's start at the beginning. What do you think your students will need and expect from you? Are they mostly freshman? Upper-class students? Theme floor? Any sense of how different your students are and what they have to teach each other? The answers to these questions will help determine what kind of relationships you will need to build and what programs and activities will assist you with building these relationships.

Try and remember back to what you were looking for when you first arrived on campus. It is potentially a difficult time and students are often nervous. They're in a new place with new norms. They're trying to define themselves and their role in this new place. They may be looking for a fresh start, but they are definitely looking for a friendly face! Your ability to be approachable and available from the very start will have a lasting impression and will, in many ways, determine the success of your community. Being a competent resource committed to helping to find answers to questions establishes you as more than just a friendly face.

Now think back to how your needs changed as your first year progressed. (It's amazing how eager new students are to explore and learn during that first month or so and how quickly the same students tend to get comfortable with a routine... and after that need coaxing to question and explore.) You've probably heard that returning students are harder to reach and that getting them to attend programs is difficult. This isn't true of all upper-class students. They do tend to distance themselves so that they are not mistaken for freshmen. They know the campus, where to eat off-campus (and where not to eat), and have established their own set of friends. Try and evaluate what these students are looking for from you and the floor by taking time to talk to them one-on-one. It's normal for first year students to look up to returning students. If possible, try and use your upper-class folks as allies... as potential big brothers or big sisters who have something positive to teach. In the same breath, keep an eye out for them being potential negative influences and challenge them quickly if you see this surfacing.

Keep the following "10 Commandments of Community Building" in mind to help keep you on the right path (feel free to cut-and-paste these, make a poster and put it up in your room!):

1. BE VISIBLE
2. BE AVAILABLE
3. KNOW EVERY RESIDENT
4. DO NOT GOSSIP
5. LISTEN...LISTEN...LISTEN
6. BE CONSISTENT
7. DON'T HOOK UP WITH YOUR RESIDENTS
8. INVOLVE YOUR RESIDENTS
9. TEACH AND LEARN FROM YOUR RESIDENTS
10. HAVE FUN AND CREATE POSITIVE MEMORIES

1. BE VISIBLE

Try and spend as much time on your floor as possible, especially in the evenings/night. Walk around, knock on doors, if you have lighter reading (or down time) hang out in the lounge or other highly trafficked space. Your students need to know that you are around for them. Before they can trust you they need to tell you who they are at their own pace and find out who you are. Don't forget that respect is earned.

2. BE AVAILABLE

If you are comfortable with having your door open when you are available then have your door open! This has the added benefit of teaching your residents that if the door is closed you are probably not there or need some time to yourself. Post your class/work schedule and use a dry-erase board to inform your students of when you'll be back. (Unless you manage to get away over the weekend and you have a floor that might take this information as an invitation to throw a party!) If you have a nightmare assignment due and can't be disturbed unless it's an emergency, then leave a note on your door telling them this.

3. KNOW EVERY RESIDENT

This goes well beyond just knowing their names. By the end of the year you should know where they are from, have an idea of their family structure, what they are doing at college and what they want to do when they get out. What are their hobbies or areas of expertise? (Can you incorporate these into a program for your floor?)

4. DO NOT GOSSIP

The potential downside of knowing every resident: Gossip. If the saying "knowledge is power" is true, then you have a lot of power on the floor. Knowing everything that is going on can be fun, but don't fall into the trap of asking other residents for the dirt. Never share something that a resident entrusted you with or something that you heard from someone else. (The exception to this rule is that you should always share information with your boss if someone's health or happiness is at risk.) If tempted to gossip, pretend that student is in the room with you. How would you both feel?

5. LISTEN...LISTEN...LISTEN

When people come to you, listen to them. It seems simple enough but it is a real challenge area for many people. Sometimes the question is a simple one that has a simple answer, but ask yourself why they are asking the question... and why they are asking you. Often students will test if they can trust you by seeing how you will respond to the simple stuff. If the subject seems more serious, try and help them find options (even though they came to you for the answer.) Always remember that you are not a trained counselor and know when to ask for help from your boss.

6. BE CONSISTENT

Try not to have favorite residents and if you do then don't let everyone know by treating them any differently. Assume that if you make an exception everyone will find out. The rules are there for a reason and are there for everyone. Your job is to report infractions consistently. If you don't understand why a rule exists then find out from your boss. If they don't know, then find out from their boss. You should be able to explain the "bigger picture" reason for the rule. Take a "this is the least favorite part of my job" attitude. Reinforce that your job is simply to report it and someone else deals with the repercussions. Your problem isn't with the resident, but with their choice or action.

7. DON'T HOOK UP WITH YOUR RESIDENTS

Seriously! This happens more than any of us would like to admit, but the damage to the community is long lasting. Remember it's almost impossible to keep this sort of thing a secret, so don't try. If you feel like you and a resident are becoming interested in one another here's what you need to do. Go to your boss and explain the situation. Your love interest could pursue a room change off the area you supervise. That's the only real option.

8. INVOLVE YOUR RESIDENTS

Involve them in programming and activities. Start looking for potential RAs on your floor from day one. Challenge them to help you plan activities, make publicity, go shopping with you. There is potentially no greater compliment to the job you're doing as an RA than to have several of your students apply for your job next year.

9. TEACH AND LEARN FROM YOUR RESIDENTS

See yourself as a peer-educator, a teacher outside of the classroom. Can you see potential areas where your residents may need improvement? Use your programs and activities to challenge your students and yourself. Also enter every interaction as a possible learning moment for you.

10. HAVE FUN AND CREATE POSITIVE MEMORIES

Although your RA job is serious, make sure that you are having fun and that your floor is a fun place to live. It may sound clichŽ, but the friends that people make in college are usually friends for life. Help create opportunities that turn into positive memories for your residents. When people get together at reunions they generally don't talk about course work... Imagine yourself old and gray at a reunion talking to an old and gray resident, "Remember that time in the Hall we..."

About the Author

Andy McDonald is completing his first year as the Director of Residence Life & Off-Campus Housing at the Maryland Institute, College of Art (MICA). MICA established in 1826, is the oldest independent, degree-granting, fully accredited art college in the nation and is one of the most selective in the country. Andy began formulating his informal "relationship model" while an RA at his undergraduate school Whittier College. He received his Masters degree in SPHE from The University of Georgia where he also served as a Graduate Resident Hall Director. The relationship model was truly tested while a live-in Hall Director at Reed College, but was strengthened under the tutelage of Dean James Tederman (retired).

Andy is interested in formalizing the "relationship model" (and perhaps finding a better name!) Any comments or questions are appreciated. He can be reached at amcdonal@mica.edu.