Sexual Harassment and R.A. Relationships

By Gary Gunderman, J.D., Assistant Director
University of Arkansas

With all of the challenges that come along with the position of resident assistant, it’s unlikely that many of you have considered the possibility that your leadership position has the potential to make you the target of a sexual harassment claim. While it is unlikely that you would innocently find yourself in such a scenario, the perceived authority possessed by a resident assistant as well as the usual close personal relationships between R.A. and resident do certainly create the potential for such problems.

Imagine the following scenario: In October, a sophomore resident assistant named Ray begins dating one of the freshmen residents on his co-ed floor. Her name is Rachel. Ray encourages Rachel to apply for an RA position and assures her that she would be a great RA and that he would “put in a good word” for her. Ray and Rachel date regularly for a few months, then break up in February. In March, during the RA selection process for the following year, Rachel applies for an RA position, but is not chosen. Rachel, who is angry that she was not chosen to be an RA, thinks that she would have received the position if she hadn’t broken up with Ray. Rachel interprets these events to mean that she won’t be hired as an R.A. unless she dates Ray. She files a complaint with the university’s office of judicial affairs alleging that Ray’s actions constitute a violation of the university’s sexual harassment policy. What did Ray do wrong? Is this sexual harassment?

Sexual Harassment as defined by statutory law and many college and university policies comes in two forms: (1) Hostile environment and (2) Quid pro quo sexual harassment.

Hostile environment occurs when an employee, student, etc. is subjected to a hostile environment in the workplace or in the academic setting. The hostile environment can be created by discriminatory intimidation, insults, and ridicule, such as sexual innuendoes, sexually suggestive or discriminatory remarks, public display of pornographic or obscene materials, sexually degrading jokes or conversations, use of sexually crude and vulgar language, or unwelcome sexual comments or sexual advances.

Quid pro quo (Latin for “what for what”) sexual harassment occurs when there is some type of explicit or implied exchange for sexual consideration. The harasser may imply that in return for some type of sexual favor (“Go out with me.”) the harassee will receive some type of benefit (a favorable evaluation, a good grade, or selection to a committee.)

The paragraph about Ray and Rachel doesn’t really give one enough information to answer the question of whether Rachel was the victim of sexual harassment, but it does illustrate the point that Ray must act very carefully when in a position of actual or perceived authority.

Most residence life professionals understand all to well the minefield that results when resident assistants date their residents. There is the issue of how other residents will view the relationship. It is likely that some residents will perceive that the dated resident receives favorable treatment. If the R.A. tries to address a noise complaint, he or she is likely to hear, “Well, your significant other’s music blared all last night…but I guess that’s okay.” Another nightmare possibility is that the resident the R.A. is dating used to date another resident. This scenario is sure to create animosity and division within a community. It is because of these types of challenges that some programs set specific guidelines for R.A.s who want to date a resident. These range from complete prohibition of dating residents or moving the R.A. or significant other to another floor or building, to suggestions for preventing problems from arising.

So what should Ray have done differently in the scenario above? Here are a few guidelines that may prove helpful to any R.A. looking for love in a residence hall.

Helpful Steps to Take Before Dating a Resident:

• First of all you need to have a discussion with your potential significant other about the difficulties associated with dating a resident assistant. The relationship will fall under the microscope that is a resident assistant’s personal life. While your intention may be to keep the relationship private, there is no juicier gossip in a residence hall than the “love life” of a resident assistant.
  
  
• You need to discuss the potential relationship with your supervisor and discuss your school’s policy with regards to R.A.s dating residents. Many schools discourage such relationships because of all the pitfalls that tend to go along with them. While it is unlikely that the relationship is forbidden, it is possible that your supervisor may insist that you not be an R.A. on the same floor or same building with the resident you are dating. This may mean that you or the resident will be asked to move if you choose to continue the relationship. While these steps may seem drastic, they may make the relationship easier for you in the long run. Such a move will likely prevent the claim that some of your residents may make that you are showing favoritism towards your significant other. It may also prevent the extremely awkward situation where you or one of your fellow staff members is faced with addressing a policy violation by your significant other.
  
  
• Consider a move anyway. Even if a move is not mandated by policy or your supervisor, you may ask that you or your resident be allowed to move anyway. While moving may seem drastic, it will likely prevent many headaches down the road.
  
  
• Ask for the support of your fellow staff members. They can help squelch talk about favoritism or at least let you know if it is happening. Also, make it clear to them that you expect no special treatment for the resident you are dating.

If the relationship begins to go the way of the Titanic, it has the potential to cause some real difficulties with you and your position. While most relationships end without much fanfare, here are a few steps that may make life easier:

Helpful Steps if the Relationship Goes Bad:

• Discuss the breakup with your ex. Explain that you will do your best to keep your personal and professional life separate and ask your ex for his or her support in following through with this. Discuss your expectations of each other for the period following the breakup. As in the Ray and Rachel example, Ray might let Rachel know that he will still write a glowing recommendation for her to be an R.A.
  
  
• Discuss the situation with your supervisor and ask for suggestions that may help the breakup go smoothly for you, your ex, and the hall community.
  
  
• Temporarily remove yourself from being an R.A. to your ex. It may be best to ask a fellow R.A. to address any policy violations involving your ex. The sharp emotions that come with a breakup make it difficult for even the best R.A. to handle that type of situation appropriately. In the Ray and Rachel example, it would probably be a good idea for Ray to excuse himself from any interview or hiring process related to Rachel.
  
  
• If the situation gets worse you might consider requesting a move to prevent the breakup doing permanent damage to the hall community.
  

Each of these suggestions may prove helpful not only in preventing charges of misconduct like sexual harassment, but also in giving the relationship its best chance of success. The key is to constantly think of how the relationship might affect you, your residents and your fellow staff.

About the Author:

Gary Gunderman is the Assistant Director for Residential Education at the University of Arkansas. His duties include supervision of academic resource centers and tutoring services and coordination of judicial affairs within University Housing.

Gary received his undergraduate degree in Electrical Engineering in 1994 and his Juris Doctorate degree in 1997 from the University of Arkansas. Gary worked as the Assistant Dean for Judicial Affairs at the University of Arkansas from August 1997 to August 2000 when he accepted the position of Assistant Director.

The information in this article should not be considered legal advice. In the event that legal advice is needed, competent counsel should be consulted.