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| Getting
the Most out of your RA Experience By Beth Moriarty,
Associate Director of Residence Life and Housing, Bridgewater State University What does
it mean to be an R.A.? When I think back to my own R.A. experience, I
often think about the old army recruiting slogan, “The Toughest Job
You’ll Ever Love”. Being an RA sure was tough and believe me
it is a lot tougher now than it was back in the ‘80’s. Sure
some issues are the same, I dealt with my share of homesick freshmen,
roommate conflicts, lockouts and quiet hour violations. However, I think
that RAs today are dealing with more students with mental health issues
as well as tougher alcohol and drug policies than in the past. At the time
I decided to be an R.A. many of my friends asked me why? Why do you want
to be a “snitch”? It made me think a lot about why I was considering
the R.A. job in the first place. When asked the question; “Why do
you want to be an RA?” during my interview, I answered just like
most of you by saying things like: “Because I’m a people person”
and “I really like helping people” and “All my friends
come to me with their problems.” I didn’t give much thought
to things like doing room condition reports, attending meetings, program
requirements, writing up my friends, dealing with obnoxious drunks puking
on my shoes or people writing “RA: Resident Asshole” on my door.
Sure, I did attend a lot of meetings, and did have to write up the occasional
friend, I even spent a semester on job probation because I didn’t
complete my programming requirements. However, when I reminisce about
my RA days what I remember most are the friendships that I made, the sense
of belonging that I felt on staff and of course how for me it ended up
being not only a job, but also my career. What I would
like to do is offer you all some advice on how you can get the most out
of your R.A. experience. I have put together 10 tips based on my own R.A.
experience as well as working with RA’s at 4 different institutions
over the past 17 years. So here goes: Number
1: Stop Trying to Explain to Your Family What it is You Do! Let’s
face it, unless one of your parents was an R.A. when they went to college,
chances are they are not 100% sure what it is that you do. Basically they
know that it has something to do with “being in charge of the dorms”,
and they know that you always have to go back early and you are always
one of the last to leave at the end of the semester, but beyond that they
are most excited that it helps pay expenses. No matter how hard you try
to explain it, they will never quite grasp why you have to go through
training every semester. Still, after all these years, when I mention
training, my mother will ask, “don’t you know the job by now?” Number
2: Maintain Friendships With Your Non-RA Friends We talk
a lot about community on all of our campuses and in a lot of ways; the
RA staff is it’s own micro-community. At times it can even border
on “cult like” behavior. I’m not sure why or how it happens,
but very slowly we start distancing ourselves from some of our old friends
because they just don’t understand what we are going through, and
our new RA friends are so understanding and supportive. Plus, we think
that close bonding feeling from training is going to last all year long,
and before you know it you are sitting at “THE RA TABLE” in
the cafeteria. And we wonder sometimes why our Residents can resent us?
On some of the stressful days, you will be glad that you have stayed close
to your old friends, when you don’t feel like talking “shop”
and you just want a break from it all. Number
3: Don’t’ Be a Perfectionist, instead Strive For Excellence I think
that the R.A. position naturally attracts over achievers. In addition
to your school work and your R.A. position, many of you probably hold
down another job and are involved in various leadership positions and
activities on your campus. At times you can feel a tremendous amount of
pressure to be “Perfect”. As a recovering Perfectionist myself,
I am telling you to let it go. There is no such thing as being perfect.
Perfectionists are never satisfied with the finished product because they
are always trying to make it better. They never get to enjoy their success.
About 4 or 5 years ago my supervisor pointed out my perfectionist behavior
and gave me a great piece of advice. Instead of trying to be perfect,
strive to be excellent. Being excellent really means just being the best
that you can be. Personally, I find a lot of satisfaction in my work when
I know that I did it to the best of my ability. This
leads right into my 4th tip, which is: Always Give 100% to what
you do If you are
going to do something, you should do it right. Recently I was walking
through one of the residence halls on my campus and I was struck by a
bulletin board that one of our Senior RA’s had done on her floor.
It made such an impression on me. I’d like to share it with you,
it was titled: If 99.99 percent was good enough then:
I don’t
know about you but I find these statistics to be staggering. I don’t
need anymore convincing to give a 100% of myself. Don’t you think
that others deserve 100% of what you have to give? Number
5: Be a Team Player I am sure
at some point this year your RD or someone on your staff will remind you
“there is no “I” in team”. As corny as it sounds,
it is very true. One of the greatest things about being an RA is you are
not alone. You have your friends, your family, your fellow RA’s,
your supervisor and the rest of the staff who are all there to help you.
Being on staff truly is a blessing, but it is also a curse. The old adage
“One bad apple can ruin the whole bushel” certainly applies.
It only takes one R.A. to abuse his or her power or to break a rule or
to not be a good role model for residents to have bad feelings about all
RA’s. Being a good team player is truly understanding that it is
more than just supporting your peers, it’s doing your best to represent
them well. Number
6: Accept That You Do Not Always Know What an Impact you are making
on the Lives of Your Residents The RA position
can often feel like a thankless job. There are times that you feel really
beat up and wonder what happened to the helping people part. I want you
all to think back for a minute to your lives before you were an R.A. Chances
are part of the reason you applied for the job is because of something
your R.A did for you. Maybe it was during those first few weeks when you
were sitting alone in your room feeling homesick and your R.A. stopped
by just to say Hi and to ask you how things were going. Or maybe it was
it was the first time that you walked into the cafeteria alone and you
were dreading it and your R.A. invited you to sit down and join them.
Perhaps it was when your long distance relationship ended and your R.A.
found you in the lounge crying and stayed up all night talking to you.
Did you ever really say Thank You? Did you ever tell your R.A. how much
you appreciated him or her? Probably not! Fortunately once in a while
some one does tell you how you touched their lives. Just recently, a former
summer conference staff member contacted me. The reason he was calling,
he is getting married this fall and he would like me to be there. Days
like this remind me, why I do the work that I do. Remember, you do make
a difference in people’s lives everyday, even if they do forget to
thank you. Number
7: Learn To Sell the Skills the RA Job Teaches You As I have
pointed out, my RA job turned into my career. Some of you may also decide
to go into Higher Education as a career. For the majority of you however
your career path will take you somewhere else. However, the skills that
you are developing now as an RA will help you no matter where you end
up. As RA’s you are learning to be event planners, to balance multiple
priorities, to mediate conflicts, to be strong leaders, to be public speakers,
the list goes on an on. In preparing for this article, I spent some time
surfing the web and I checked out residentassistant.com. If you have never
checked out this site before, you should do so. One of the things on the
site is a list of famous people who were RA’s. It includes:
It’s
a pretty impressive list. I can’t say for sure, but I am willing
to bet that the R.A. experience played a part in getting these folks to
where they are today. Who knows a few years from now we may be adding
you to this list. Number
8: Manage Your Priorities and Take Care of Yourself I am sure
that at one time or another you will hear from your supervisors that you
are a student first and an R.A. second. However, you are so much more
than that: you are your parent’s children, you are sisters and brothers,
you are a best friend, a significant other, an employee, a campus leader,
you wear many different hats. As I grow older, I find myself struggling
to find some balance between my work life, my family life and still managing
to find time for myself. Some of you may have heard this story before,
but I think it bears repeating:
Need I say
more? Number
9: Be a Risk Taker John F.
Kennedy once said, “We should not let our fears hold us back from
pursuing our hopes.” This article was originally presented as a keynote
speech at the Boston Area College Housing Association’s annual R.A.
conference. When I was asked if I would be the keynote speaker, I said
no! I was terrified. I was asked to think about it overnight. Obviously,
I said yes. I decided to take a risk. Public Speaking has never been easy
for me, but unless I face my fear, I will never get over it. I am happy
to report that the speech was very well received. During your R.A. experience
and throughout college in general, you have a great opportunity to take
some risks. Try something new, do a bulletin board on a topic that no
one has ever done before, sponsor a program that may spark some controversy,
present at an RA conference next year, participate in the National Student
Exchange Programs RA Exchange. Whatever, but don’t be afraid to take
a risk. Number
10: Have A Positive Attitude Of all the
tips that I have offered in this article, this is probably the most important
one. We all take for granted how our attitude affects everything that
we do. Being an RA isn’t easy. There are going to be some tough days,
but you can’t let it get you down. Some RA’s on my own staff
have joked about how their compensation package breaks down to 8 cents
an hour. It was pretty humorous at first, but at times it can become a
real de-motivator. You can’t focus on stuff like this, how can you
put a price on helping others, on student service? We all need to realize
that we have the power to decide how we are going to react to the bumps
in the road, the emergencies, the crises, and the things that we didn’t
plan. Remember you can’t put all of your valuable time and energy
into things that you can control and the only thing that you can control
is YOURSELF. About the Author Beth Moriarty
has been at Bridgewater State College since 1993. She currently serves
as the Associate Director of Residence Life and Housing where she oversees
facilities, housing assignments and summer conference housing. She has
worked in the housing profession for 14 years. She has been active in both NEACUHO (Northeast Association of College and University Housing Officers) and BACHA (Boston Area College Housing Association). Beth also served on the Faculty of the Regional Entry Level Institute. |
