First Year Reflections

By Anthony Florendo,
Resident Assistant
Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, Newark Campus

So, okay, my first year as a resident assistant (RA) overseeing a first year student floor has been a demanding and grueling experience, but as I counted the remaining days left in school, I realized that I really don't want this last semester to end. Two weeks ago, I had my re-application interview with my superiors to review my performance as a RA to determine whether or not it is for the best interest for the department as well as myself to keep my position for next year. We talked over a lot of issues, but the issue that concerned all of us is how I interact with my residents and the boundaries I have failed to create between a RA and a friend, a problem most RAs encounter.

My supervisors expressed that it would be best if I returned as a RA on a continuing student floor, a floor comprised of students closer to my year in college who might not take a lot of my time or help. Being on an upperclassmen floor will be a bigger challenge for me since it will test my leadership potential, interpersonal skills, maturity, self-esteem, and other qualities that were not fully utilized this year. Even though I might no longer be with first year students, I regretfully agree that my supervisors are right in their assessment.

I left my interview with my head down yet knowing that I have performed my job to the best of my abilities and that I am one of the department's strongest staff members. However, I also came out knowing that I have less than three months to enjoy spending time with first year students. Students who leave home for the first time; hesitantly meet you with intimidation; turn you into a parental figure who they come to for problems, advice, or just to show their 'A' paper. And then maybe they would become friends I would equally respect.

Here I am now again counting the remaining days left in school and how I am going to miss my first year experience as a RA. But what I'm really going to miss is what my supervisors found concerning during my interview- those boundaries I crossed when I interacted with my residents. So, as a way of saying thanks to a great memorable year, I want to dedicate this article to my residents who I respect deeply and love even deeper. I don't want to embarrass them all by listing all 42 names, so I am going to share the special times I had with them, and hopefully, they will also remember those memories:

Spending time with the first resident who moved in early,

Approving attire before they go to a club, telling them to come home by 11 p.m.,

Saying goodnight to everyone in my pajamas,

Getting my eyebrows plucked,

Eating dinner at 5:30 every night with them,

Spitting out food whenever they make me laugh,

Playing video games until the next morning,

Running away from hugs and kisses,

Arguing over controversial issues,

Arguing just to argue with that one resident you find difficult yet fascinating,

Wrestling when arguing doesn't help,

Cooking them pasta,

My very first floor meeting,

Being proud of that one misunderstood resident,

Getting caught half-naked in the hallway,

Asking them whether my clothes matched or not,

Doing room inspections while a resident was in bed with his girlfriend,

Those long, private conversations with a resident,

Singing and dancing just for a laugh,

Asking them to smell my new fragrance,

Watching them do impersonations of me,

Cheering with them at volleyball games,

Help cutting wicks off candles (they're illegal in the Residence Halls),

Giving and receiving noogies,

Covering my residents with a blanket if I see them asleep,

Finding out too late that a resident won't be coming back next semester, and

Saying goodbye to the first resident who moved in who was the also the one who moved out early...

Yes, as you can see, I have broken some boundaries with my residents, but do I regret them all? My answer would be no. A resident assistant is supposed to be a job, but after actually becoming one, it isn't just a job to me when I live them with them everyday and night, watching them grow, understanding them and letting them trust me by trusting them with my own personal life. Unlike a job, you don't leave the office at a certain time to go home for the day to your family. Your office is your home and your family is your residents.

I want to thank my residents again for a great year. I hope your first year in Woodward Hall was just as great as mine. Good luck next year, and hey, who knows- since I'm also going to an upperclassmen floor, I might even be your RA again and share more good times together! (Psst... let's just try making more boundaries this time. My supervisors will be watching!)

About the Author

Anthony Florendo is a third year student at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, Newark Campus. He comes from Voorhees, New Jersey, and graduated from the Eastern Regional High School. Anthony just completed his first year as an R.A., where he worked on a first year student floor, and he will be returning to staff next year. Anthony studies Graphic Design, and his interests are art, and "making people laugh". During the summer of 1999, Anthony worked as a summer conference assistant. He also serves in the role as Coordinator of Orientation Workshop Leaders. He has worked for the campus orientation program for two years. Anthony received the Programmer of the Month Award twice during his first year on staff.