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Managing Student or Staff Death in a Residential Setting
By Katie Boone,
Acting
Director of Residence Life and Housing
Kean University
Helping a community grasp, mourn, share, and gain closure after a student or professional staff member dies is a difficult process. Through this article I hope to provide some helpful ideas on working through the initial crisis stage, providing follow up, and provide steps for moving on for your residential community.
To start, I would like to provide some background at what happened at my institution. In April 1999, a Resident Assistant suddenly passed away. He had been a staff member with the Residence Life and Housing Office for 4 years and was set to graduate in two weeks. In addition to working with our department, he was very involved and well known on campus. His sudden death was devastating to the university community. This September, we had a Residence Hall Director die suddenly. She had been on staff for two years and was incredibly well liked and known. She worked with many different offices on campus and volunteered her time frequently to help with programming initiatives. Again, a devastating blow to the university.
In each situation we implemented basically the same procedures. We had to first handle the immediate crises. A critical priority was to inform the students and staff. We called in the Human Relations and Counseling Office, clergy, and other Student Affairs Offices and asked for help in meeting with students. We set up a lounge in a residence hall for students to gather and meet with counselors throughout the night and morning. We ordered food and beverages as well.
One area of concern for the students and staff was to determine what happened with each person. Residential Life staff worked with the families and medical personnel to find out what we could of the details of each death. Since both deaths happened very suddenly, one in the presence of other students, it was important to divulge accurate information of what happened in each situation so that students and staff could connect that it was really happening.
The professional staff came together and compiled a list of people who we should call the next day. Included in this list were non-resident students, staff, and colleagues from other institutions who would want to know what had occurred. We remained in contact with the families to express our condolences and get funeral service arrangements.
As the actual funeral arrangements took some time, our staff felt the students and staff both needed to grieve together, prior to the actual funeral services. Thus, we planned candlelight vigils for both individuals on the day following their death. We got the students involved in the planning, and in fact they set the schedule of what would happen and what clergy were to preside. Both services provided an opportunity for students and staff to be together and share their memories. The professional staff worked together to get flowers, candles, tissues, and ribbons. We also decided to get a picture reproduced in slightly larger than wallet size that each person could have as a keepsake. Families of the deceased were invited and they came. Counselors were on hand to help students and staff process.
The next major undertaking was the funeral services. Due to the overwhelming request to help provide transportation to the services we worked with our Student Government to rent several buses to take students and staff to the services. Once again, counselors were on hand to help if needed.
In the case of the student staff death, the school year ended and at graduation a special moment was made for him and his brother walked in his place to receive his diploma. When the students returned in the fall, we had a ceremony to plant a tree and installed a plaque in his memory in the residence hall area between the two buildings that he had worked. His mother attended and helped provide some closure and words of wisdom to moving on and making the most of each day.
In the case of the staff death, we met with her student staff regularly to check to see how they were doing and then made arrangements for temporary supervision of the hall. I also felt it was necessary to meet as a professional staff to regroup and process what had happened. We scheduled a day retreat at an off-campus location so that the staff that were busy helping organize the details of service and helping students could have their own time to grieve and process. I had a counselor from another school facilitate discussions, and we were able to have group and individual time and also private time on the beach or at the retreat center. Students are currently making plans to plant flowers in front of the residence hall where she worked and lived and a small ceremony will take place on her birthday.
Managing the crises of student or staff death is an overwhelming experience. I hope this provides some thoughts about what you can do. The way we handled these crises can be applied to other crisis situations as well. There is no way to plan for the sudden death of a student or staff member. However, it is helpful to know what has worked at other campuses to provide some direction to get through not only the crises but the aftermath as well. Finally, do not forget your own grieving process. In the rush to help everyone else it easy to loose sight of what you are going through and take time to mourn.
Written in loving memory of LaMonte K. Tilley and Daysi Guardado. Two wonderful people who will always be remembered.
About the Author
Katie Boone is the Acting Director of Residence Life and Housing at Kean University in Union, NJ. Katie has worked actively on the MACUHO Executive Board, serving in the roles of Wellness Committee Chair, Regional Coordinator, and Secretary. She is the winner of the 1999 MACUHO Outstanding Service Award. She is currently serving in the role of MACUHO Vice President, and will assume the role of MACUHO President at the upcoming annual MACUHO Conference.